Agnes* was barely 17 years old when she tied the knot with Jim, her school sweetheart in California. One should not be mistaken to believe that Agnes (Ness) is physically infantile. She can match or rather be more blessed in figure than any of the sophomore showbiz icons in the country.
June (her Dad) was my classmate and twice a year when they come home, he always asks me to go to their house and cook my recipes and share a drink with him. His wife, a nurse on a managerial level is more avid in picture and video-taking. She always brings with her one of the currently best SLR digital cameras, a semi professional video camera and lighting equipments. The family knows that I learned photography and film-making but I primarily use the craft as a hobby and occasionally as a sideline. So after cooking before I turn tipsy, Ness’s Mom usually asks me to take their pictures, some in portraiture or a random family video.
After finishing elementary from one of the finest exclusive schools, Ness left for the US at the age of 12. While her Mom was away, she was under the care of her Dad and paternal grandparents.
Agnes is like a daughter to me. When June could not bring her to school or pick her up, he asks me to do it. Before they left for the States, June or I can go to each other’s house at will to play chess, the guitar; discuss pressing political issues or simply to hang around with old friends and relatives.
Whenever she has time, Agnes e-mails me twice a week. It is interesting to read how she describes living in her new country and the cultural differences she has to overcome.
When she was 16 and some months, she wrote me that she already had an American boyfriend with 100% Filipino ancestry and fluent in Tagalog. In my generation, to have a boy/girlfriend at that age elicits bad-mouthing and sharp eyes of parents if not spanking. I asked if June and Judy know it. “Yes, Tito (endearment address) they know. In fact, I already introduced Jim to them.”
“What was their reaction and what did they say?” I asked curiously.
“They were cool but they pointed us out to study first, respect one another and ‘know the consequences’ of our actions if we go over the limit which they warned, we don't have to do. Jim has also introduced me to his family."
When June called and greeted my daughter on her birthday, he repeated what Ness told me about her relationship with Jim. After talking with him at length, I reminded June that entering into a relationship sometimes serves as an inspiration that could work wonders. He agreed.
On her 17th birthday, it was a surprise of all surprises when Ness informed me that she is getting married in June of that same year. “I’m getting Married, Tito.”
“How can you do that when you are very young and still going to school? “
“Tito, I explained everything to Mom and Dad and they understand where I’m standing at. I said that after marriage, Jim and I can look for a job and hopefully, we can find our own place.”
“And your explanation was . . . ?”
“I was in tears when I honestly told them that Jim and I could no longer hold ourselves in not having sex. I told Mom and Dad that I know that I am very young and did not finish school but we will look for a job to support ourselves. Also, I told them the possibility of having a baby at a very young age but hopefully they understand that it is better to marry at a tender age instead of having pre-marital sex or pregnancy outside marriage.”
I got Agnes’s moral value but it was hard for me to understand June and Judy’s disposition in giving away their only child to the man she loves.
Not long after her confession to me, June told me that Judy will send my roundtrip ticket to San Francisco and back for the wedding and requested me to be the official photographer.
Jim and Agnes married with the bride's parental consent.
The rest is a history.
Today, Agnes and Jim have a beautiful daughter and they are working in New York City where they have their close relatives. Their in-laws gave them lavish help although they work hard for their family and future. I understand that Agnes’s and Jim’s parents agreed to share and purchase a new house and dole cash as gifts for their children. The rent of that house in California augments the income of the young couple and their going back to school.
Defiant or call it courageous, Agnes wrote me recently that she has no regrets and that she and Jim are very thankful to their parents and in-laws for all their support and love. She admitted though that life is difficult but they chose it so and that they must stand on it and move on.
As a final thought, Agnes is absolutely correct that sex has no place outside marriage from the point of view of the Catholic faith but I am very sorry that the little child who practically grew up with me is now a wife and a mother at a very tender age. Her main point in marrying commands respect. She was just 16 when she made that decision in a culture where it is totally different from ours.
Luckily, they are in the richest nation where the American dream is always possible to achieve.-30-
_______________
*All names are changed
June (her Dad) was my classmate and twice a year when they come home, he always asks me to go to their house and cook my recipes and share a drink with him. His wife, a nurse on a managerial level is more avid in picture and video-taking. She always brings with her one of the currently best SLR digital cameras, a semi professional video camera and lighting equipments. The family knows that I learned photography and film-making but I primarily use the craft as a hobby and occasionally as a sideline. So after cooking before I turn tipsy, Ness’s Mom usually asks me to take their pictures, some in portraiture or a random family video.
After finishing elementary from one of the finest exclusive schools, Ness left for the US at the age of 12. While her Mom was away, she was under the care of her Dad and paternal grandparents.
Agnes is like a daughter to me. When June could not bring her to school or pick her up, he asks me to do it. Before they left for the States, June or I can go to each other’s house at will to play chess, the guitar; discuss pressing political issues or simply to hang around with old friends and relatives.
Whenever she has time, Agnes e-mails me twice a week. It is interesting to read how she describes living in her new country and the cultural differences she has to overcome.
When she was 16 and some months, she wrote me that she already had an American boyfriend with 100% Filipino ancestry and fluent in Tagalog. In my generation, to have a boy/girlfriend at that age elicits bad-mouthing and sharp eyes of parents if not spanking. I asked if June and Judy know it. “Yes, Tito (endearment address) they know. In fact, I already introduced Jim to them.”
“What was their reaction and what did they say?” I asked curiously.
“They were cool but they pointed us out to study first, respect one another and ‘know the consequences’ of our actions if we go over the limit which they warned, we don't have to do. Jim has also introduced me to his family."
When June called and greeted my daughter on her birthday, he repeated what Ness told me about her relationship with Jim. After talking with him at length, I reminded June that entering into a relationship sometimes serves as an inspiration that could work wonders. He agreed.
On her 17th birthday, it was a surprise of all surprises when Ness informed me that she is getting married in June of that same year. “I’m getting Married, Tito.”
“How can you do that when you are very young and still going to school? “
“Tito, I explained everything to Mom and Dad and they understand where I’m standing at. I said that after marriage, Jim and I can look for a job and hopefully, we can find our own place.”
“And your explanation was . . . ?”
“I was in tears when I honestly told them that Jim and I could no longer hold ourselves in not having sex. I told Mom and Dad that I know that I am very young and did not finish school but we will look for a job to support ourselves. Also, I told them the possibility of having a baby at a very young age but hopefully they understand that it is better to marry at a tender age instead of having pre-marital sex or pregnancy outside marriage.”
I got Agnes’s moral value but it was hard for me to understand June and Judy’s disposition in giving away their only child to the man she loves.
Not long after her confession to me, June told me that Judy will send my roundtrip ticket to San Francisco and back for the wedding and requested me to be the official photographer.
Jim and Agnes married with the bride's parental consent.
The rest is a history.
Today, Agnes and Jim have a beautiful daughter and they are working in New York City where they have their close relatives. Their in-laws gave them lavish help although they work hard for their family and future. I understand that Agnes’s and Jim’s parents agreed to share and purchase a new house and dole cash as gifts for their children. The rent of that house in California augments the income of the young couple and their going back to school.
Defiant or call it courageous, Agnes wrote me recently that she has no regrets and that she and Jim are very thankful to their parents and in-laws for all their support and love. She admitted though that life is difficult but they chose it so and that they must stand on it and move on.
As a final thought, Agnes is absolutely correct that sex has no place outside marriage from the point of view of the Catholic faith but I am very sorry that the little child who practically grew up with me is now a wife and a mother at a very tender age. Her main point in marrying commands respect. She was just 16 when she made that decision in a culture where it is totally different from ours.
Luckily, they are in the richest nation where the American dream is always possible to achieve.-30-
_______________
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