Kris Aquino and James Yap Fight: Baby James

The presidential Fourth Sister is again in the headlines. This time, Kris wants sole custody of her child with basketball star James Yap, Baby James. To make matters worse, there is a move to drop the Yap as the child’s last name in favor of Aquino.

Beforehand let me say that I am not a lawyer nor intend to be one but since the couple contracted a civil marriage that produced a child, how in this world be lawful to erase the last name of the father attached to the child’s name when at the time of his birth, the marriage is legal? Should Baby James have been born out of wedlock; he can have Aquino as his last name. Ms. Aquino’s legal team stresses that “it is just a consequence of law”. But what if Baby James, at the age of reason, will change his name and put back the “Yap”?  Will that invalidate his inheritance rights from Ms. Aquino's assets depending on court ruling?

Lorna Kapunan, Mr. Yap’s lawyer further said that “the most significant and disastrous effect” of Kris’ suit to nullify the marriage, if granted, would be to render Baby James illegitimate”.

Based from what I said earlier, how could a child be called illegitimate when the time the baby is born, the effects of the (civil) marriage was valid and in effect? Does Atty. Kapunan imply that a child born from parents living together without the blessing of marriage, civil or church, is in the same shoes with Baby James?

Kris also wants sole custody of their child but okays the father’s visiting rights. Is that right limited or unlimited?

I believe that it is only the Family Court that can render the decision on custody  and visiting rights if out of court  or amicable settlement is impossible and not  by the petitioners. I cannot see any justification that sole custody is given to Kris. Whatever Kris has for Baby James, Mr. Yap can also provide him.

The only reason why Kris is doing this based from my observation which could be wrong is because of arrogance. What a pity! She should learn from her humble brother. -30-

An Advice to Kris Aquino; An Advice to Politicians

On the first passing away anniversary of Pres. Cory Aquino, Archbishop Soc Villegas, an Aquino Family friend turned his face to presidential sister Kris saying:

“Kris, as you continue to stay in the limelight of show business and go up higher in your career on television, remember---all of these things will pass. Your beauty and talents are not yours; they are God’s. You will find your real happiness . . . not in being in the limelight, but by being the spotlight lighting the face of Jesus.”

The good Fr. Soc (his preferred name of endearment) could have also aimed his words to politicians especially the dirty ones by reminding them:

“As you continue to stay in the political limelight and go up higher in your careers, remember---all of these things will pass. Your position and talents are not yours; they are God’s. You will find your real happiness . . . not in being in the limelight, but by being the spotlight lighting the face of Jesus.”

In the Philippines, politicians embody power and wealth that when they rub elbows with the people, they draw unimaginable respect, awe and yes, fear. Fear for a number of Pilate politicians possess vast capabilities that can decide one to be free or a slave of hopelessness and total defeat or to live or  die the slow death of poverty, deprivation, dehumanization, marginalization or neglect.

If Robin Hood Filipino politicians have a Damascus experience and reflect on Fr. Soc’s words, they  are compelled to put into action the maxim that a public office is indeed a public trust. Like the new Paul, these politicians should fearlessly work for the welfare of the country and the people whom they once persecuted.

The problem is that most of our politicians are the Biblical tax collectors or Judas Iscariot that they betray the trust of the citizenry accorded to them. 

“What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet loses his soul?”  -Jesus

"Kris, Don't Marry in the Church": Archbishop Cruz

-Archbishop Oscar Cruz, National Appellate Marriage Tribunal of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines (NAMT-CBCP) chief in a recent statement over Catholic Church-run Radio Veritas  gave an  unsolicited advise to First Sister Kris Aquino not to marry again in the Catholic Church.

“The main reason,” Cruz said, “is that she is more for herself than for someone else like a spouse. Meaning to say, she is not someone who thinks of herself as a partner to somebody else so that the two of them become one. Marriage is partnership.”

If there is one that I appreciate about Kris, it is her beauty especially when she was in her teens. I am not her admirer but considering her past relationships and popularity as a role model if she is, Cruz is correct in indirectly saying that Ms. Aquino is difficult if not impossible to play the role of a wife, i.e. partner. Not one relationship that she entered into including her marriage with James Yap has been successful. It’s either all the gentlemen whom Kris was associated with are all irresponsible or puerile  or else, Kris is the guilty party.

We know that no marriage is made in heaven or even if there is, a husband and wife are still clothed with imperfection. Be it so does not mean that marital problems, big or small cannot be worked upon. If there is a will, there is a way.

Marriage according to Dr. Cruz, a Canon lawyer, is a partnership or companionship. One does not always have to give or to receive but practices the  two-way give-and-take canon.

Despite having everything, I am surprised why Kris is not successful  with Cupid.  After all, wealth and prestige cannot guarantee a blissful relationship. What matters is a commitment in keeping the marital vow that “for better or for worse,” till death do a couple part.  

Is it possible that the Aquino favorite daughter is a domineering wife if not dictatorial that no deserving gentleman is so far compatible with her if compatibility is not a fiction? Is Kris  a part or worse; source of the problem rather than a part of the solution of her marital woes?

Speculations are speculations and just like Archbishop Cruz, “I’m not pronouncing judgment on whether she is good or bad, or whether she is a sinner or a saint. No, I’m not doing that.”

It is a pity that Kris has no good fortune in terms of love but I believe that if she ponders upon seriously on what her president brother Noynoy said that "there cannot be right solutions without the corresponding correct identification of the problems,"  Kris has still to meet her knight in shining armor whom she can spend the rest of her life in the castle of true love and partnership. As a voracious reader, she should read Martin Buber’s “I and Thou” where inspirations are replete on how to be with others and how to treat others the way it should be.

James Yap, is commended in doing his best to save his marriage with Kris. He  is doing the right thing but regardless of his effort, two are always needed to tango.

For the sake of the marriage of Kris and James and the well-being  of the kids, it is high time that priest-friends of the Aquinos like Archbishop Soc Villegas and the Jesuit Catalino Arevalo give their invaluable pieces of advice to Kris and to both of them as husband and wife.

. . . If solicited of course.