-Archbishop Oscar Cruz, National Appellate Marriage Tribunal of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines (NAMT-CBCP) chief in a recent statement over Catholic Church-run Radio Veritas gave an unsolicited advise to First Sister Kris Aquino not to marry again in the Catholic Church.
“The main reason,” Cruz said, “is that she is more for herself than for someone else like a spouse. Meaning to say, she is not someone who thinks of herself as a partner to somebody else so that the two of them become one. Marriage is partnership.”
If there is one that I appreciate about Kris, it is her beauty especially when she was in her teens. I am not her admirer but considering her past relationships and popularity as a role model if she is, Cruz is correct in indirectly saying that Ms. Aquino is difficult if not impossible to play the role of a wife, i.e. partner. Not one relationship that she entered into including her marriage with James Yap has been successful. It’s either all the gentlemen whom Kris was associated with are all irresponsible or puerile or else, Kris is the guilty party.
We know that no marriage is made in heaven or even if there is, a husband and wife are still clothed with imperfection. Be it so does not mean that marital problems, big or small cannot be worked upon. If there is a will, there is a way.
Marriage according to Dr. Cruz, a Canon lawyer, is a partnership or companionship. One does not always have to give or to receive but practices the two-way give-and-take canon.
Despite having everything, I am surprised why Kris is not successful with Cupid. After all, wealth and prestige cannot guarantee a blissful relationship. What matters is a commitment in keeping the marital vow that “for better or for worse,” till death do a couple part.
Is it possible that the Aquino favorite daughter is a domineering wife if not dictatorial that no deserving gentleman is so far compatible with her if compatibility is not a fiction? Is Kris a part or worse; source of the problem rather than a part of the solution of her marital woes?
Speculations are speculations and just like Archbishop Cruz, “I’m not pronouncing judgment on whether she is good or bad, or whether she is a sinner or a saint. No, I’m not doing that.”
It is a pity that Kris has no good fortune in terms of love but I believe that if she ponders upon seriously on what her president brother Noynoy said that "there cannot be right solutions without the corresponding correct identification of the problems," Kris has still to meet her knight in shining armor whom she can spend the rest of her life in the castle of true love and partnership. As a voracious reader, she should read Martin Buber’s “I and Thou” where inspirations are replete on how to be with others and how to treat others the way it should be.
James Yap, is commended in doing his best to save his marriage with Kris. He is doing the right thing but regardless of his effort, two are always needed to tango.
For the sake of the marriage of Kris and James and the well-being of the kids, it is high time that priest-friends of the Aquinos like Archbishop Soc Villegas and the Jesuit Catalino Arevalo give their invaluable pieces of advice to Kris and to both of them as husband and wife.
. . . If solicited of course.
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