Decades ago when I was growing up, taboo abound when it comes to discussing sex at home. Apparently these days, not much has changed especially in the countryside.
It is my understanding that talking sex at home was refrained out of modesty if not respect on the idea that sex is sacred. My parents, born in the 10’s, who both worked in the government can copiously share opinions on prevalent issues but as an elementary boy, when I asked my Mom how a woman gets pregnant, she replied, “just like what dogs do to get pregnant.”
With no further questions asked, I understood what she meant while Dad chuckled, “You’ll know when you are a man.”
Indeed, I and my sister learned sex from academic books when we were young adults. We have no regrets in not learning it from our parents. She is now happily married with three kids while I have two.
Currently, a bunch of opposing opinions on sex education is everywhere in the country as played up by the government’s intent to include sex in the elementary and secondary curricula.
The Catholic Church says that it is the duty of parents to teach sex to their kids to which we agree.
Thus, in response . . .
I and my wife didn’t like to hand down to our kids how we learned sex when we were at their age. We were open, honest and serious in discussing sex with them but we are choosy with words and not the method which is direct.
Some parents in the past have tight lips when it comes to sex probably because they (falsely) deem as dirty or distasteful or even disrespectful to modesty. That attitude is still around somewhere but me and my wife prefer to be candid.
When our eldest in her early teens became very conscious of her anatomical development, her Mom said that it is time for her to wear a bra for support “to make her feel more comfortable” for they continue to develop until her early 20s. “After marriage when you become a mother like me, you nurse your baby with them”.
Months passed.
One evening, when our girl was taking showers, she suddenly screamed loud. Fearing the worst, gripping a baseball bat, I rushed at the bathroom asking if she was okay. “I’m scared; I’m bleeding.” She said sheepishly. As if a jackpot winner, I rushed to my wife telling that “Joanne” is already a woman! A little bit annoyed, disturbed from taking a bed rest, I pulled “Shelly’s” hand and led her to the bathroom muttering. My wife told our brand new lady that there is nothing to worry about for it is normal for girls at her age to have the “bleeding” and said, “Joanne, you are now a lady!”
The following day, I went to the market to buy ingredients for my favorite recipes intended to celebrate Joanne’s coming of age.
After the desserts I told Joanne that she is already a woman and if she has sex, she can get pregnant. In contrast to her expression when I heard her screaming, Joanne was smiling and upbeat. She could have related her incident to her classmates ahead of her who shared their “experience” as well. I graphically described Joanne what sexual intercourse is adding that “some parents may consider what I’m doing to you now as thumbs down probably because of the way sex is done or out of false sense of modesty but make no mistake that sex is good and even an obligation of a husband and wife.” Further, I said that sex is exclusively the right of married couples. Warning her to take care of herself, “one single drop of sperm can make you pregnant because just one cell out of millions is enough for conception."
Shelly echoed emphasizing that she has to take care of herself. “Finish your school, get a job then find the right man to marry. You and your husband will enjoy sex because it is a gift and it is beautiful!”
It was the first chapter in informing our kids with the biology of procreation. “Joby”, our boy three years younger, will have his turn but with an easier subject matter. Telling kids about sex is not a one-time deal but in progress as the need arises. Sex is not simply a matter of physical and anatomical issues. Equally important but more complex to explain are its moral and spiritual facets.
Joanne is on her advanced pregnancy. She phoned us yesterday that she can hardly wait to see her first baby due this October 18.
Shelly and I are as eager as our daughter to see a brand new family member but . . .
. . . Ah! That spells out our age that is closely guarded! -30-
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